My Aunt Shirl

Yesterday morning, my little sister, Amy, called me to tell my that my Aunt Shirl, my father's only (older) sister had passed away. I find all my thoughts, when I'm not busy, are focused on her (and my father).
Shirley Bernheim was a character in more ways than one. During the second half of her life she was an accomplished actress. She had numerous Broadway (ex. Grease), off-Broadway, touring company roles, TV shows (an amazing, short part as a Holocaust survivor on Law & Order), and numerous commercials. She didn't like to be typecast; yet she was great a playing a little old lady, but happiest when the part allowed her full expression including profanity. She loved the dramatic - both on stage and in her own life. Happiness and pain flowed from her freely. Her neuroses and her flair were legendary. But she loved her friends who performed with her or came to watch with a wonderous devotion.
Two really funny stories: one from even before I was born; wicked sense of humor. My aunt served my grandfather dog food - claiming that it was stew. Apparently he liked it - until he found out what it was.
Also, during one of the few times as a child that my parents went away on vacation and my grandparents didn't take care of us - we stayed at my aunt & uncle's. Shirl wanted to make us something that we would enjoy - hamburgers.... BUT, with her amazing panache, she made for us lamb burgers with mint. None of us could eat them... But it's been a great story to remember over the years.
My few memories of recent years are so ambivalent. She's been a resident of The Lillian Booth Actors' Home of The Actors Fund in Englewood, New Jersey for about half a dozen years. Visiting her the few times I was able were a mixed bag. Most of the time she was still herself , caring and generous. But after various treatments, her mind could only be there for a short while. She was always glad to see "MARCUS AURELIUS, the noblest of the Romans,'" but it was difficult to sometimes not be recognized and for her to be unable to complete a thought. I am lucky my sisters were there for her - making sure she was OK, taking care of every need. She got excellent care there and we are grateful to the great nurses and aides for their kindness, as well as the circle of friends who were devoted to her.
I know my whole family owes her a great thank you. After her ex-husband, my Uncle Eddie, passed away, her generosity was typical. Not needing much for her own pleasures, she authorized a nice chunk of his estate be given to the Raphaels. The income from that investment enabled me to enjoy some great times with my immediate family.
I guess I feel blessed to have know this good, amazing soul. We're going to really miss her now. And we pray that she is now at peace.

Mishnah Yomit

Something pretty amazing happened - Wednesday April 25.

My Mishnah Yomit group finished Seder Zeraim!
The Mishnah, the great code of Jewish Law edited by Rabbi Judah the Prince in 200 CE, has six sederim, six major divisions. They deal with civil/criminal law, Jewish holidays, marriage/divorce, sacrifices, purity, and agricultural laws. Much of it is no longer observed but there is always something to learn, which has application in other aspects of life. Also, sometimes this is 'torah lishma" learning, study simply for the sake of learning with no practical application.
Seven years ago the Conservative Movement started it's process of learning Mishnah. Doing one Mishnah every day since April 19, 2002 we have just completed our fourth of the six seders. While none of us has actually read one mishnah a day - in our group of 4 everyone does seem to catch up at least for/at the monthly review sessions. It's a great honor to prepare and study with my fellow learners. And it's a really incredible commitment to Torah!
In my job I do study Torah every day. The commitment to Mishnah for all these years though is special. It's not only learning to prepare for teaching a class, which is so much of my learning. It's exploring the depths of Torah for its own sake - to learn what our tradition and God asks of us in order to be Jewish and to be fully human. I look forward to completing the Mishnah with by "group" in around three more years...

Finding the Balance

No funerals for a month - helps a lot...

I still find myself thinking constantly about all those who are grievously ill in our community - but at least I feel I have the balance again.
Grandparents Shabbat was great - just watching generations interact and share - is truly a joy. We also had a Simchat Habat (Celebration of a Daughter) this Saturday and I do love baby namings. We even had an incredible Healing Service Sunday Night - great sharing, incredible energy, and abysmal turnout. I have another Simchat Habat this weekend and one more planned for May after the April birth.
I learned as child that death and sickness are a part of life. How we cope with the sadness and pain of life says a lot about who we are as human beings. But we do need to find the balance - to see the light in the middle of all the darkness and clouds.
At the Healing Service I taught a piece from Nancy Fuchs-Kreimer about clouds. Last Shabbat's Torah portion, Vayahkel-Pikuday, has the cloud traveling with Israel and descending on the Tabernacle. God is "inside" the cloud and yet there is a kind of uncertainty about the Presence. That's true also in the clouds of life - the uncertainty. We're not sure what tomorrow will bring - it may be better, it could be worse. Are we moving into greater darkness, frozen in limbo or moving toward the light? I like this metaphor of clouds. There are days when there is overcast. There are days when the light peaks through. And there are days when the sun shines brilliantly. But most days have at least some cloudiness. That's life.
Even in the cloud though - God's Presence can be experienced. Sometimes that's almost impossible to do. But God is even in the cloud - and in hard times, it is good to remember that not only is God everywhere - but God's light and love can be experienced any time.

Appreciating and honoring

Sunday night our local United Synagogue Region ("Seaboard") honored its young leaders. It's the second year for this wonderful program. Last year we honored Laura Wallace and this year Marcie Lerner. The future of our synagogues is not only our children, but also the young committed adults who are the present and future leadership of our sacred communities. It is one of the best things United Synagogue does.
There's so much in the press last week about the tensions between United Synagogue and the other arms of the Conservative movement. A new Executive Director is being hired as the movement changes its top leadership at the Seminary, Rabbinical Assembly and USCJ, in just a few years. Unlike the Reform Movement, the center of our movement historically has not been the synagogue (UAHC now called URJ). The Jewish Theological Seminary was the wellspring of Conservative Judaism and as it trained rabbis, educators and knowledgeable lay leaders - was the fulcrum of creativity, economics and therefore the ability to act. Although the hiring process of the new Exec Director was not inclusive of the broader movement, the person hired is a rabbi. More important, even Sunday night, the Regional President of Seaboard USCJ collared me for a minute... we know how crucial it is that we work together. Only by combining the resources of our community: lay, rabbinic, cantorial, educational and administrative professionals - together seriously debate and implement plans together for the spirituality of our community can we be successful. We are filled with concern for many years that Conservative Judaism is shrinking. The changes of leadership and the quest for dynamic answers to serve our constiuency fill us with hope. I still believe that Conservative Judaism is existentially correct. Judaism is about tradition and change - while we have always evolved, Judaism has survived because we have also always remained true to the essentials of Jewish life.
Finally Sunday night reminded me of how important it is to acknolwedge and thank. I am not always good with this. Often, it's not enought to just say privately or publicly thank you. Sometimes I don't take the time to write the notes that so need to be written to express my gratitude. Appreciation is a core spiritual value. That's why the last three blessings of the Amidah every day, three times a day weekday - are about gratitude: for God's Presence, for the daily miracles and for the peace we do enjoy. In the face of all the pain and suffering in the world and in our community this year - it's good to pause and realize all the blessings we do enjoy - personally, in our families and in our community.

Thank God It's Almost Shabbat

Not a bad week but I'm ready for Shabbat.
Purim was wonderful this week. I had enough to drink to get through both services. The little ones had a great time and only a few were terrified by my "Yoda" costume. The full reading had a nice turnout - a dozen more than previous years and the reading itself was very good. It was really enjoyable to just relax, tell the story, and celebrate in face of all the tzurus this year ... being alive, relatively healthy, and being able to enjoy a happy day.
Action in Mongtomery had a good 550 people meeting Tuesday night with the County Exec. We've come a long way in 9 years. We were given a lot of respect by Ike Leggett, an agreement to work with us on Affordable Housing, saving Social Services in this hard time, and working toward availability of college monies and programs so all eligible HS graduates in our county could attend Montogomery Community College or the Maryland State System. The last is a long way off - but would really be the kind of Social Justice investment that Congregation Based Community Organizing is fundamentally about. I feel out of the loop with AIM and we had an abysmall turnout for Kehilat Shalom - but my energies are much more directed to Pastoral needs and CE 21 at this time.
I was really saddened by the death of Hazzan Komrad's father this week. He had joined us many times for High Holiday meals and on occasion for Passover Seder. I'll miss his warmth, his wit, his poney-tail, and even his jokes and stories.
Spend over half an hour on the phone last night with my sisters. They take of our aunt, my father's older sister, Shirley. She's in the hospital temporarily, from the S.A.G. Nursing home in New Jersey where she's lived for a number of years. They're treating an infection and have done all kinds of tests. Sadly my aunt's mind has been pretty much gone for a number of years and looking through her legal documents (Living Will and Health Care Proxy) - we see that she 's receiving treatment she would not have desired. We pretty much decided to implement following her wishes. Stop the invasive tests and let's get her back where she's comfortable and at home - and put in place (we hope) a system to guarantee that she's comfortable and without pain and stress. It's not easy to do even though we know it's what she wants and what's right for her. When the next infection hits - we all know what this means. We also know that this will not be good for my father, he already misses visiting his sister and the loss to him will be exceedingly painful if and when it happens.
Finally it's been nice having Tali around this week ... he'll be home May, June, July and part of August - so we miss him for two months and enjoy his company soon.
Shabbat Shalom,

Seeing me on You Tube

I was at a funeral today and as part of the eulogy the family used a recording of their loved one to hear his voice (and if they had the technology in the room I assume we could have seen the video). So I was thinking about where you could see me on video and checking You Tube today I found that there are two recordings of me.

The first was piece recorded and edited by the Jewish Funds for Justice at the 2nd Jewish Community Organizing Conference in California a few years ago:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cw7c5kRS1y8
I think it's a nicely edited articulation of my passion for social justice and the spirituality I find in the work I do with Action in Montgomery and the Industrial Areas Foundation.

The 2nd I only discovered today was edited by the Holzels: is me talking to Eli Holzel at World Wipe Wrap two years ago - showing him how to complete doing the hand tefillin and some of the spiritual meaning of putting them on daily. You can't see me except my hands - but it's a cute and thoughtful piece...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vO4Qq1pIG5E

Shalom...

My Teleconference Yesterday

Yesterday I was on the phone for 80 minutes with other Regional President of the Rabbinical Assembly (the union and support network for Conservative Rabbis around the world). A few things stand out.
First, the Conservative Movement is almost done creating a new mahzor (High Holiday Prayerbook). It will be ready not this year, but for High Holidays 2010. I hope it will be a significant upgrade to the Harlow prayerbook. I like Harlow for my personal use - it's clear print, all the basics and some good translations and supplemental readings. But I hope there will be more transliterations and supplemental readings along with the full confessionalsand options for some of the piyyutim (medieval poems) that were in the old Silverman book ,but removed from the present mahzor.
Second, we heard a lot about the recent convention in Israel. I wish I had the money to go. The big center of tension was a resolution which passed - to encourage aliyah from Conservative Jews in the US to Israel. At a time of economic and spiritual stress, it seems a good risk to reconnect ourseles to Klal Yisrsael (The Larger Community of Israel) and to the Land of Israel - for the benefit of all the Jewish people. It was also interesting to hear about planning for next year's RA Convention which is still up in the air because of costs.
Last, an maybe most exciting: the RA is looking into technological solutions to time and distance. With today's technology we should really be able to study together - not only to listen to each other over the phone, but to have text displayed on our computer screens and the teacher on a camera live over the net. To be able to dialogue and learn with and from our colleagues and teachers not just a conventions or training institutes ... would be a spiritual and professional enhancement to our sacred work.