Awesome Love of the High Holidays (Bulletin article)

The keynote prayer of the Musaf Amidah on the High Holidays is Unataneh Tokef. Written according to tradition by Rabbi Amnon of Mayence on his deathbed, it depicts us standing in the heavenly court – awaiting judgment: who will live and who will die!? Over the years I/we have grappled with the fatalistic nature of the prayer. Is our physical fate really sealed by the past and our repentance process during the Days of Awe?
In the past I understood the prayer as a metaphor for consequential living. The past does impact the present and the future. The quality and the quantity of our lives are certainly determined by the choices we make: taking care of our selves, how we treat others, and our quest for intellectual and spiritual sustenance.
After 9/11 we spoke about how this prayer articulates for us all the things that are not in our control. What happens to us through nature and the actions of others (and maybe God) is not determined by us. We have the ability to accept, cope and heal from the pain and suffering which is found in our world – but we have little power over what actually happens to us. Only, our spiritual responses to life: repentance, prayer, righteousness - are in our control.
As I study this year for the holidays, I want to expand the metaphor of God sitting in judgment over us. I still find this theme powerful as a tool to personal transformation. Yet the idea of heavenly tribunal should not only be viewed in terms of “punishment.” A tribunal is also, often for moments of meaningful joy, such as a conversion.
This is an equally powerful image to one of justice and punishment. Conversion is a transformational moment. Filled with awe and love a person becomes a Jew-by-choice. This is true today in our time and place for all Jews – living Jewishly is a personal choice. The rituals of conversion are a moment filled with love for Jewish life and hope for a future filled with God’s presence. The Beit Din (Rabbinic Court) for a conversion is rite of welcome to community. Having completed the process of study and rituals of Jewish citizenship – the convert celebrates their new status and affirms their identity. The tears of someone who is named with his/her Jewish name as part of the ritual – are tears filled with joy and God’s love. Maybe that’s the feeling we should experience in synagogue during this High Holiday season. We stand as Jews by choice in front of God who welcomes us in love to share the joys of Jewish spirituality. I pray we will feel that Presence during the holy days and in the coming year.

Rabbi/Dr. Joseph Lukinsky

Last week one of the unique souls it has been my pleasure to know in life passed away. Joe Lukinsky was a mentor, a teacher, an inspiration. I first met him while in high school where he served as an advisor in Camp Ramah. Later, he was one of my advisers while working on my M.A. in Jewish Education. Through my college years, grad school, and rabbinic studies, Joe was a Professor of Education at the Jewish Theological Seminary. He was one of the most compassionate and brilliant people I ever have known.
A wonderful aside. My great tangential memory of him was baseball. Joe Lukinsky (I was told actually) had a try-out with the Chicago Cubs. And apparently could have played minor league ball. I'm glad he became a rabbi and educator. But I always remember that once or twice a summer he would play in Camp Ramah in the Shabbat afternoon pick up game. All the outfielders would start to back up. And at least once a summer Joe would crush one - over the dining room or over the Bet Am (Main Rec Hall) - kind of like a Mickey Mantle or home run derby shot - unbelievable. He would just flick his wrists and it was gone. And he was always so modest, when everyone else was totally 'wow'ed.
But I really cherish my memories of his warmth, his compassion and his mentschlikeit. He had this wonderful way of offering constructive criticism. [He was so brilliant that when he taught he could share 3 brilliant ideas at the same time confusing us often.] Yet, when evaluating your programs in camp or lessons in a class - he would bubble with different ways of teaching the same material - and then help you figure out which way would work best for you. He'd look at you with that wonderful warm smile and you knew he wanted you to do your best for yourself, for those you taught, and in service of God. You were never intimidated by his intellectual gifts. His modesty and kindness and willingness to share those talents, inspired you to be like him - a teacher in Israel.
Zichron Zaddik L'vracha - the memory of this righteous soul will always be a source of blessing.

Death and Life and Love

It has been, as often the case, an interesting series of days.

This weekend we had one of the most joyous aufrufs and weddings that it has been my honor and pleasure to officiate. Without naming names, our President's oldest son was married to a lovely young woman who studied with me for many months to become a Jew-by-choice. The aufruf was fantastic on Shabbat morning. Lots of participation and the joy of the moment was visible to all. When it came time for the special blessing for the bride and groom preceding the impending wedding - everyone surrounded our center bimah, waited for the completion of the benediction and the wished them sweetness in life by gently pelting them with candy. So much love and so much joy.
The wedding itself was equally wondrous. I don't often officiate at a traditional tish (groom's table) and bedekin (veiling of the bride), but that was the plan at Adas Israel in DC. One hall was reserved for the tish - where there was plenty of drinking, a traditional dvar torah (sermonette) with interruptions, some pretty good singing; a really loving celebration of the groom to relax him before the ceremony (and signing the ketubah - the marriage contract). In one of the chapels the bride awaited the groom's party - we danced in, regaled the bride a little, and then veiled her in front of all the guests.
The huppah (service under the 'bridal canopy') was filled with beauty and meaning: beautiful singing from Hazzan Komard and Cantor Judson, lighting a yahrzeit candle for loved ones present in spirit, but most of all just two amazing young people so in love, so filled with joy, sharing the moment with everyone. Then there was a fun reception - great time, great music, good food - being able to part of two extended families knowing what's really important - being in a sacred weekend of love, family and community.
Yesterday, I received a call mid-day from a member that her mother was dying any minute. So I raced over to the Nursing Home. We talked for a moment or two, I spoke with the 82 year old woman who was in extremis. It was clear from her breathing that the end was very close. After a few Psalms we recited Vidui - Final Confession. It's a powerful prayer that prays for a miracle - but if not that death will be forgiveness. Then a prayer for the family of the person and ends with Shema Yisrael and a few other lines affirming our faith. I've said Vidui many times and been at a death bed several times - but I've never recited it before and then in only ten more minutes watched a loving, stubborn and strong soul take her last breath. I then stayed another hour to help make plans for the funeral out-of-town. Having known the woman who passed away for a decade - it's always sad and strange to watch a life come to an end. And yet, as a remembered her joy at her granddaughter's birth and naming, the bnai mitzvah of her two grandsons, her coming to Active Retirees meetings in healthy days - I know she enjoyed a good, long life - not without it's pain and sadness - but met with incredible determination and great devotion. Her memory is a source of blessing.
I feel very alive this week in the face of love and death. I have felt the Presence of God in the holiness of a series of moments - of seeing souls alive with love, bidding farewell with a contemporary to the wellspring of her life, and a being truly present for the final neshama - the final breath of life. Just being wide open to these moments enables me to feel a connection to something more than myself.

Back from Vacation and Tisha B'Av

Vacation was wonderful. Loved the beach in Lewes, DE - lots of bike riding, walking around in Lewes, great beach, lovely weather. Relaxed, exercised, read - perfect for recharging my spiritual batteries. Florida last week with my parents went fine - today actually is their 59th Anniversary. Got a lot done to help out a little.
Tisha B'Av begins in a few hours. I have such powerful memories of this day from years of Camp Ramah observance. To commemorate with ritual communal destruction and death was and is truly powerful. We have holidays for joys of life and relationship with God, for historical celebration, for serious reflection and introspection, for finally for sadness and loss. Judaism truly is a "way of life" in the way that it ritualizes the range of spiritual experience. Remembering our loss of central sanctuary and other tragedies of Jewish history is not unique to our community, but it part of Judaism's uniqueness.
I am always ambivalent about how to fast on this day. With the reality of a Jewish state in my lifetime - I wonder with many others whether it is appropriate to fast for the full day. In reality, I normally fast until the mid-afternoon when just the experience of the summer heat, work ,and the drop in my blood sugar make eating a healthy choice. I've always found it much harder than Yom Kippur when although I work harder - I am distracted from my hunger and totally focused on the rituals and words of the day.
What am I thinking about for Tisha b'Av this year? Tisha B'Av is about loss. Loss of the Temple and sacred community. Most of all its about the sense of the absence of God - often experienced in tragedy. With so much suffering, illness and death this past year - I have been feeling the 'eclipse of God.' Maybe going through the losses is the only way to come out the other side. If God is everywhere and in everything - then God must also be experienced in sadness and passing. I know this is true - for so often I have experienced the certainty of connection in moments of visiting the sick and in comforting the grieving. Maybe it is in God's love in those moments that the spiritual flow of the universe is truly known.

Ready for my vacation

Today is my last day at work before I take four weeks off. It seems like it never slows down anymore. Over the past couple of days four different member's parents have entered into their last days of life and another parent passed away... It's been a rough year: with the economy, with Diane's surgery and with all the illnesses and deaths in our community. I'm not only ready for a break, I really need it.
What am I doing for vacation? We'll be a week at Lewes, DE. We had been at Rehoboth Beach last summer and what we saw of Lewes: quaint, quiet, nice little shops and access to the beach, is what we like. There's not a lot to do - but we'll certainly go to the Outlets in Rehoboth and take the ferry over to Cape May, NJ. Later in the month, I'm also going to spend a long weekend with my parents in Boca. In between, I'd just like to read and exercise. If I can get my body in a little better shape and recharge my mental/spiritual batteries - it will be a great month.
If I read something interesting - I'll blog. Mostly I'm planning to read shlock (Clive Cussler, etc.).
Wishing everyone a restful and rejuvenating July...

Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett

It both amazing and weird that two of the great icons of my college and grad school years, Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett passed away yesterday. Their impact on popular culture of the 70s and 80s - was incalculable. Although I never owned the famous Fawcett poster - I certainly watched for several years Charlie's Angels. It's good to remember her growth as a serious actress and also her courageous battle with the cancer that took her life. I don't know enough to even begin to offer a eulogy, but it seems appropriate to realize that she was a real , complex person: sex xymbol, a life of difficult relationships, great success, and painful, prolonged illness. May her memory be a source of blessing.
Michael Jackson was one of the greatest musical and performing talents of my lifetime. His voice, his dancing, and his choreography were wondrous. In good days, his generosity was equal to his talent and sadly his strangeness was just as great. One of my favorite comedians is Lewis Black who has this funny shtick: that Michael Jackson is a punch line. All you had to do was say the name: and people laugh. While that is true for many ... I'd prefer to remember the singing and the dancing. At his best, Michael Jackson filled us with a joy - of the ability of the human soul to create beautiful music and movement - to celebrate the fears and joy of life and to expand the imagination in videos of sublime storytelling. That's what I choose to remember.

Catching Up and Common-wealth

Sorry been off for a while. Was in Florida two weeks ago visiting my parents. Will be on vacation soon for the month of July.

Next Monday I'll be in NYC for the afternoon at a National Gathering of the Industrial Areas Foundation. IAF is the parent organization of Action in Montgomery (AIM). As I had written a few weeks ago, one of the issues which concerns us all is the economy, but also the culture which encouraged and permitted the abuses which lead to the recent economic downturn. This meeting in part will be strategizing what can we do to represent the average person in the national conversation about re-creating a healthy and equitable economy for the benefit of all.
One of the interesting conversations around this theme which has fascinated me is the idea of COMMONWEALTH. When I look back over much of the past two or so decades - I've done OK financially. But I look at the frightening gap growing between have and have nots. In recent years, a very few have become fantastically rich, while the poor remain poor and the middle class has not grown individually or collectively. We have created pockets of wonderful prosperity, but only for a few. We have not invested in the infrastructure which creates wealth across broad spectrums of society. I was blown away in Israel by quality and speed of cellphone and wifi service. It creates wealth. When I hear about high speed trains, high speed wifi and cellphone service in "Third World" countries - I wonder why we don't have or have to pay so much for these vital, 21st Century "basic" services.
Maybe it's time for our country - private and public to invest in the kind of services and infrastructure that are communal wealth and spread productivity throughout our society. That's what commonwealth is about. Having the roads - physical highways and communication pathways to be able to make and get products in order to generate economic well-being for vast sectors of our country. I don't know how to do this - but I'd like to be part of conversation about achieving ethical prosperity.