Yesterday morning, my little sister, Amy, called me to tell my that my Aunt Shirl, my father's only (older) sister had passed away. I find all my thoughts, when I'm not busy, are focused on her (and my father).
Shirley Bernheim was a character in more ways than one. During the second half of her life she was an accomplished actress. She had numerous Broadway (ex. Grease), off-Broadway, touring company roles, TV shows (an amazing, short part as a Holocaust survivor on Law & Order), and numerous commercials. She didn't like to be typecast; yet she was great a playing a little old lady, but happiest when the part allowed her full expression including profanity. She loved the dramatic - both on stage and in her own life. Happiness and pain flowed from her freely. Her neuroses and her flair were legendary. But she loved her friends who performed with her or came to watch with a wonderous devotion.
Two really funny stories: one from even before I was born; wicked sense of humor. My aunt served my grandfather dog food - claiming that it was stew. Apparently he liked it - until he found out what it was.
Also, during one of the few times as a child that my parents went away on vacation and my grandparents didn't take care of us - we stayed at my aunt & uncle's. Shirl wanted to make us something that we would enjoy - hamburgers.... BUT, with her amazing panache, she made for us lamb burgers with mint. None of us could eat them... But it's been a great story to remember over the years.
My few memories of recent years are so ambivalent. She's been a resident of The Lillian Booth Actors' Home of The Actors Fund in Englewood, New Jersey for about half a dozen years. Visiting her the few times I was able were a mixed bag. Most of the time she was still herself , caring and generous. But after various treatments, her mind could only be there for a short while. She was always glad to see "MARCUS AURELIUS, the noblest of the Romans,'" but it was difficult to sometimes not be recognized and for her to be unable to complete a thought. I am lucky my sisters were there for her - making sure she was OK, taking care of every need. She got excellent care there and we are grateful to the great nurses and aides for their kindness, as well as the circle of friends who were devoted to her.
I know my whole family owes her a great thank you. After her ex-husband, my Uncle Eddie, passed away, her generosity was typical. Not needing much for her own pleasures, she authorized a nice chunk of his estate be given to the Raphaels. The income from that investment enabled me to enjoy some great times with my immediate family.
I guess I feel blessed to have know this good, amazing soul. We're going to really miss her now. And we pray that she is now at peace.
Shirley Bernheim was a character in more ways than one. During the second half of her life she was an accomplished actress. She had numerous Broadway (ex. Grease), off-Broadway, touring company roles, TV shows (an amazing, short part as a Holocaust survivor on Law & Order), and numerous commercials. She didn't like to be typecast; yet she was great a playing a little old lady, but happiest when the part allowed her full expression including profanity. She loved the dramatic - both on stage and in her own life. Happiness and pain flowed from her freely. Her neuroses and her flair were legendary. But she loved her friends who performed with her or came to watch with a wonderous devotion.
Two really funny stories: one from even before I was born; wicked sense of humor. My aunt served my grandfather dog food - claiming that it was stew. Apparently he liked it - until he found out what it was.
Also, during one of the few times as a child that my parents went away on vacation and my grandparents didn't take care of us - we stayed at my aunt & uncle's. Shirl wanted to make us something that we would enjoy - hamburgers.... BUT, with her amazing panache, she made for us lamb burgers with mint. None of us could eat them... But it's been a great story to remember over the years.
My few memories of recent years are so ambivalent. She's been a resident of The Lillian Booth Actors' Home of The Actors Fund in Englewood, New Jersey for about half a dozen years. Visiting her the few times I was able were a mixed bag. Most of the time she was still herself , caring and generous. But after various treatments, her mind could only be there for a short while. She was always glad to see "MARCUS AURELIUS, the noblest of the Romans,'" but it was difficult to sometimes not be recognized and for her to be unable to complete a thought. I am lucky my sisters were there for her - making sure she was OK, taking care of every need. She got excellent care there and we are grateful to the great nurses and aides for their kindness, as well as the circle of friends who were devoted to her.
I know my whole family owes her a great thank you. After her ex-husband, my Uncle Eddie, passed away, her generosity was typical. Not needing much for her own pleasures, she authorized a nice chunk of his estate be given to the Raphaels. The income from that investment enabled me to enjoy some great times with my immediate family.
I guess I feel blessed to have know this good, amazing soul. We're going to really miss her now. And we pray that she is now at peace.
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Mark,
ReplyDeleteThis is your cousin Bob Katz. We have not seen each other in many, many years, so it's wonderful to be able to get in touch with you, even though the occasion is a sad one.
Like you, I feel incredibly fortunate to have known Shirl as a relative, a friend, and, on occasion, a confidante.
I was lucky to see her in not just one but TWO productions of "The Tale of the Allergist's Wife," first on Broadway (immediately after 9/11) and again when the touring company of the show reached San Francisco in late 2002. On the latter occasion, Shirl invited us back to her dressing room following the show.
Her warmth, her humility, her incredible sense of humor, all of them combined to make her an incredible human being. May her memory be for a blessing.
Mark,
ReplyDeleteI just found out from your mother about your aunt's passing. I'm so sorry. I don't know if I ever knew her when I lived in NY. I accidentally found your blog and decided I might as well write to you. Your mom and I e-mail each other quite a lot. I think the last time I saw your parents was at my daughter's wedding 10 years ago. Not sure when I saw you and your sisters. Anyway, my condolences to you and your family.
Bobbie Eisen Tucker