Funeral for an infant

The focus of last week for me was going to Boston to officiate at the burial of a one-day old. Born on Friday to a lovely couple I had married in 2005 (the bride was in our Confirmation Class in 1997), the baby boy died suddenly Saturday.
When I was called on Sunday, I was filled with sadness for them. A century ago infant mortality was still relatively so common, that Jewish law indicating that we just bury, but don't mourn, made sense. Today, in the liberal Jewish world, pregnancies are few and any loss before birth or shortly after birth is a traumatic experience. I feel lucky that my son is healthy and grown - but I could certainly empathize with feeling life, seeing new life, and experiencing new life for 24 hours and then losing that child ... what an excruciating anguish.
It also brought back memories of my middle sister losing triplets who could not be brought to full term 22 years ago. In those days there was no liturgy, no format to ritualize one's grief. I feel lucky today, especially due to my female colleagues, that there are rituals and prayers and poetry to assist with mourning the loss of an infant.
As I preached yesterday I found only small measure of comfort in the rituals and prayers.
I found incredible holiness in the words and actions of the couple. They supported each other, they communicated their sadness to each other - the souls intertwined to cope with the moment and share the loss together. I also felt God's presence in the support of family and friends. They were grieving too, but they surrounded the couple with God's unconditional love. And last, I was amazed, moved and inspired by the OBGYN and nurses from the hospital who attended the burial to support the couple and to also find healing for themselves.
It wasn't easy. It was only the beginning of recovery. But it was an honor to facilitate a moment of healing and a small, holy connection in death back to life.