Torah Portion: Spies

Painful portion in the Torah reading this week
Israelites on the verge of going to conquer the Land of Israel are filled with self doubt and inferiority – they would rather go back to Egypt that face the challenges of living on their own
The consequence … is the ultimate punishment – they will die and not enter the Land
I would have thought the Golden Calf was a more evil, more fundamental sin
But not understanding how to worship God is different from denying God’s spirit in one’s life
I paraphrase what our Bar Mitzvah said in his speech: you can’t live without hope – if you feel that life is futile, where do you find the strength to find joy in life.

Strangely: The Torah answers this existential question with information about sacrifices, the dough offering, sin offerings, the Shabbat breaker and tzitzit. Huh?

My old answer: these are things to be done when Israel enters the Land. It’s a message of hope – to those hearing it: you may not go in yourself, but your children will and do all these things.
As I was thinking about this strange juxtaposition in the portion … and baseball, … and came up with a different answer

What happens when you mess up? We all make mistakes.
Sometimes the mistake is devastating – a community believes the 10 spies, elects a Hitler … it goes down the road of its own destruction – for at least that generation.

Sometimes you do something wrong and you know it’s wrong – the community knows you can’t gather wood on Shabbat and make a fire and you’re warned and you still do it. Normally you just get cut off from the spirituality of rest – but not in our portion. It’s a capital sentence here. Another example hopefully not fatal: If you (the Bar Mitzvah) practiced a new, difficult gymnastics routine without a spotter – you’d certainly be putting yourself at risk of serious injury. Doing something you know is wrong (smoking, overeating) is just dangerous.

However: Most of the time our mistakes are not intentional – they’re inadvertent.
We’re driving and pick up our cell phone and boom.
Sometimes you’re an umpire in the 9th inning of a perfect game and you’re in position, but somehow you blow the call?

What do you do – when you just weren’t focused on what you’re doing and you blow it?
I think you do what Jim Joyce, the umpire, did Wednesday night. First you own up. If you can’t admit you did wrong – you’ll never be able to avoid the same mistake again. In this case, there’s nothing you can do to make it right, but one kind of forgiveness is possible … from admitting you’re wrong and then doing it right from that moment on.

You also hope (but there’s no guarantee) that if you’ve hurt someone else – when they know you and know you’re sincere that they can say – I could have made that mistake, I’m not happy, but I do understand. I think that’s what Armando Galarraga felt and it was certainly what he said. He was classy and gracious and because of that both the pitcher and the umpire have earned a tremendous amount of respect – not because their athletes, not because they’re great at their jobs, but because the both saw the humanity of the other person. I hope that because of what happened that Gallarraga’s perfect game will be as famous a Don Larsen’s or Harvey Haddix’s 12 inning masterpiece even though he then lost.

I think: That’s why the portion talked about the sin offering. You didn’t intend to mess up, but you did and then you realize later what you did. If it’s on purpose you can’t bring the sacrifice – you can’t do something symbolic to increase your mindfulness. When it is inadvertent you can… it’s a means of saying, I’m going to do better in the future. I’m going to pay attention to my life. Help me to do that God.

I also think that’s what the tzitzit are designed to do. Clothing doesn’t change who we are, but it can remind us of who we are and what we’re doing. Think about what we’re doing. Don’t walk through life thoughtlessly. Be mindful of what you say and do. Concentrate on what you’re doing. Be in the moment. Do what you believe is right – because you study and reflect. Slow down – live. Feel the wonders of life. Make the time to share your life with people you love. Maybe even feel the connection to the life flow of the Universe. It’s how you stand in the Presence of God.