Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Back from Vacation and Tisha B'Av

Vacation was wonderful. Loved the beach in Lewes, DE - lots of bike riding, walking around in Lewes, great beach, lovely weather. Relaxed, exercised, read - perfect for recharging my spiritual batteries. Florida last week with my parents went fine - today actually is their 59th Anniversary. Got a lot done to help out a little.
Tisha B'Av begins in a few hours. I have such powerful memories of this day from years of Camp Ramah observance. To commemorate with ritual communal destruction and death was and is truly powerful. We have holidays for joys of life and relationship with God, for historical celebration, for serious reflection and introspection, for finally for sadness and loss. Judaism truly is a "way of life" in the way that it ritualizes the range of spiritual experience. Remembering our loss of central sanctuary and other tragedies of Jewish history is not unique to our community, but it part of Judaism's uniqueness.
I am always ambivalent about how to fast on this day. With the reality of a Jewish state in my lifetime - I wonder with many others whether it is appropriate to fast for the full day. In reality, I normally fast until the mid-afternoon when just the experience of the summer heat, work ,and the drop in my blood sugar make eating a healthy choice. I've always found it much harder than Yom Kippur when although I work harder - I am distracted from my hunger and totally focused on the rituals and words of the day.
What am I thinking about for Tisha b'Av this year? Tisha B'Av is about loss. Loss of the Temple and sacred community. Most of all its about the sense of the absence of God - often experienced in tragedy. With so much suffering, illness and death this past year - I have been feeling the 'eclipse of God.' Maybe going through the losses is the only way to come out the other side. If God is everywhere and in everything - then God must also be experienced in sadness and passing. I know this is true - for so often I have experienced the certainty of connection in moments of visiting the sick and in comforting the grieving. Maybe it is in God's love in those moments that the spiritual flow of the universe is truly known.