Highlights of the Week
Last Sunday there was a wonderful meeting of the area Conservative synagogue in Baltimore to honor Young Leaders. Kehilat Shalom honored Karen Klemow who has run our Wine Tasting Program for several years and has chaired our CE21 Educational Experiment for the past 2 years. It was wonderful to thank her for all her intelligence, talent to engage others, and hard work. The centerpiece of the evening was a panel discussion about the future of prayer/worship in synagogue communities. The questions were, of course, better than the answers. How do we make worship exciting, engaging, accessible and inspiring? What works for one person doesn't work for the next. The one service 'fits all model' is dysfunctional for too many in the community. I'm sure I'll write another time on my ideas and some directions we'll be taking short-term and long-term.
Monday I took my first day-off in weeks.
Tuesday I introduced an interesting project to the Upper School (8-12 Grades). There is a legal case on-going in Georgia between the State and the American Civil Liberties Union about the Kosher law in Georgia. The law requires food sold as kosher to meet "Orthodox Hebrew religious rules and requirements." One of my Conservative colleagues who does kosher supervision would be breaking the law in his work since he's not Orthodox. Many state have laws to guard against fraudulent kosher stores. Yet, in general, we believe in separation of Church and State that the government should not get involved in matters of religion. Should the government in the public interest impose one religious standard on everyone? The students are taking the opposite sides of the case and will debate next week in front of a lawyer - cool!
Both Wednesday and Thursday, not the highlight but, the focus of the day was counseling people experiencing illness in their families. There are no black and white answers on dealing will infirmity and the challenges of care-giving. Several things stand out in both conversations. 1) Make sure that your house is in order: financially, physically, spiritually - because no one knows for sure what tomorrow may bring. 2) Medicine is a "artsy" science - our bodies are so complex, each of us is different - that absolute diagnoses and prognoses are not possible. Reading good information, asking the right questions, listening carefully, and then making the best decision possible with our loved ones is sometimes all we can do. 3) There is a spiritual side to sickness beside the spiritual. We know this but sometimes forget. Sometimes there is no cure. But with support, kindness, communication, meditation and love - there can always be spiritual healing. We can be sick, but we can be surrounded by the love of friends and family ... and God
Thursday Night: the CE21 Task-force met. We starting looking at the trends of our congregational conversations. Seven conversations with nearly 70 people were held in February and March. We're not done looking at the data - but there are already some interesting insights about where our community is, what & where they want to do, and from there we should be able to do some creative, experiential activities to meet the needs and dreams of our community.
Today: I've been getting ready for honoring our Educational Directors. We're celebrating Amy & Mindy with the participation of students in the service, the presentation of gifts from the classes, and a thank you from the School Board. It promises to be a lovely service and evening.
Shabbat Shalom.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Funeral for an infant
The focus of last week for me was going to Boston to officiate at the burial of a one-day old. Born on Friday to a lovely couple I had married in 2005 (the bride was in our Confirmation Class in 1997), the baby boy died suddenly Saturday.
When I was called on Sunday, I was filled with sadness for them. A century ago infant mortality was still relatively so common, that Jewish law indicating that we just bury, but don't mourn, made sense. Today, in the liberal Jewish world, pregnancies are few and any loss before birth or shortly after birth is a traumatic experience. I feel lucky that my son is healthy and grown - but I could certainly empathize with feeling life, seeing new life, and experiencing new life for 24 hours and then losing that child ... what an excruciating anguish.
It also brought back memories of my middle sister losing triplets who could not be brought to full term 22 years ago. In those days there was no liturgy, no format to ritualize one's grief. I feel lucky today, especially due to my female colleagues, that there are rituals and prayers and poetry to assist with mourning the loss of an infant.
As I preached yesterday I found only small measure of comfort in the rituals and prayers.
I found incredible holiness in the words and actions of the couple. They supported each other, they communicated their sadness to each other - the souls intertwined to cope with the moment and share the loss together. I also felt God's presence in the support of family and friends. They were grieving too, but they surrounded the couple with God's unconditional love. And last, I was amazed, moved and inspired by the OBGYN and nurses from the hospital who attended the burial to support the couple and to also find healing for themselves.
It wasn't easy. It was only the beginning of recovery. But it was an honor to facilitate a moment of healing and a small, holy connection in death back to life.
When I was called on Sunday, I was filled with sadness for them. A century ago infant mortality was still relatively so common, that Jewish law indicating that we just bury, but don't mourn, made sense. Today, in the liberal Jewish world, pregnancies are few and any loss before birth or shortly after birth is a traumatic experience. I feel lucky that my son is healthy and grown - but I could certainly empathize with feeling life, seeing new life, and experiencing new life for 24 hours and then losing that child ... what an excruciating anguish.
It also brought back memories of my middle sister losing triplets who could not be brought to full term 22 years ago. In those days there was no liturgy, no format to ritualize one's grief. I feel lucky today, especially due to my female colleagues, that there are rituals and prayers and poetry to assist with mourning the loss of an infant.
As I preached yesterday I found only small measure of comfort in the rituals and prayers.
I found incredible holiness in the words and actions of the couple. They supported each other, they communicated their sadness to each other - the souls intertwined to cope with the moment and share the loss together. I also felt God's presence in the support of family and friends. They were grieving too, but they surrounded the couple with God's unconditional love. And last, I was amazed, moved and inspired by the OBGYN and nurses from the hospital who attended the burial to support the couple and to also find healing for themselves.
It wasn't easy. It was only the beginning of recovery. But it was an honor to facilitate a moment of healing and a small, holy connection in death back to life.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Review of the Week
I'm still have trouble finding time to sit down and compose, but I have been pausing at the end of every day and thinking about what I learned.
Last Friday 4/9. We had a great Leadership Team Meeting of our CE21 project. We received the data of the Congregational Conversations of the past months. Preliminarily, we need to rethink and reformulate how we create community. What worked for the first 20 years of my rabbinate was never even 75% effective, but it may be even less engaging and empowering today. It's time for new structures and experiences to connect people to new friends, sacred community and God.
Last Saturday at the Bleich Bar Mitzvah a member of the family was an old friend who I hadn't seen in many, many years, Ray Panitz. It brought back so many wonderful memories of Camp Ramah. Also listening to his career path changes - it gives me hope that when I'm ready to retire (I don't know when) there could be a life after.
Sunday 4/11 I went to Debbie Togut's funeral. For the past decade she has been the 2nd Hazzan at Bnai Israel in Rockville. I've know her for over 30 years: She was a camper of mine (I was unit head) in Camp Ramah in New England in 1977 or 78. She was this tall, beautiful, sweet, intelligent, sweet voiced, incredible davener and torah reader. There was a joy that flowed from her in everything she did. She was wonderful, also, active in planning activities (pe'ulat erev in particular) for her fellow campers. It was devastating to think that at 46 with two young children she's gone. The only comfort I had at the grave was listening to a flock of birds near the cemetery singing in a high chirp, something not far from her voice. I thought she would have liked their singing... or maybe she was even singing with them.
Monday we had long, but good Executive Committee. I am especially happy about as we reflected on the experience people are having filling in letters in our new Torah. [It's even more important than the $100,000+ we raised in pledges] Menachem Youlus, for all the bad press he's been receiving, is really creating sacred moments for our families. People are really connecting to the spiritual nature of our holy text. It's been sublime.
Tuesday I went to a mid-day meeting through AIM with the CEO of Adventist Health Care, Bill Robertson. He's honestly one of the few people I've met in the county who is a leader. He's intelligent, well read, thoughtful, understands politics, and still is spiritual. He has a vision for his institution and the county that I rarely hear anywhere else. It nice to go to a meeting and come out energized. I hope we'll be able to work with him in the short term of immigration issues, but in the long term on housing, transportation, and education.
Wednesday the 14th I had mikvah duty. Once a year, I sit on the Beit Din in the rotation of the Conservative rabbis in the area for conversions. We receive essays from the adult candidates about their spiritual journey and spend half an hour with each getting to know them a little more and then joining them to our people through immersion in the ritual bath. It's always special. We officiated for 4 adults and two children. The stories of the journey to find a connection to God and community - were beautiful and powerful. It's sad that most adult born-Jews don't have the spiritual growth experience of our adult Jews by choice. I'm once again inspired ... hearing their stories and their commitment to our faith.
Thursday - as I prepared for Bible Study in Numbers 18, I was wondering why don't we tithe anymore? And as I reviewed this section about offerings to the priests it was finally clear why. The tithe given to the Levites and priests was for their service to the Temple. Especially crucial in the aftermath of the Korach story was their responsibility to prevent encroachment with the holy - which would lead to death. Since the Temple is not standing - there is no risk of encroachment. Since the levites are not performing the protective duties - they are not paid. No one else can receive their special portions. We do give charity (and can give as much as 20%)- but not tithe without the Temple to the priestly clans.
Today - I am finishing my drash to the Bar Mitzvah this Shabbat. The Chancellor had a wonderful piece in the JTS weekly that part of the core idea. The laws of skin diseases and infestations of clothing and houses - reflect the need not only for cure, but for spiritual healing. The ancient discussion of these issues is much less concerned about cure. But, we today don't always pay enough attention to the spiritual side of illness and property damage. I appreciate now: the way the priest visits someone everyone week when their sick or their home infested and connects a family to community and God through their presence and concern. Maybe we should have more rituals for healing and after a home is restored; to nurture our quest for physical and spiritual health and realize the degree to which the emotional and the physical are interconnected.
Shabbat Shalom
Last Friday 4/9. We had a great Leadership Team Meeting of our CE21 project. We received the data of the Congregational Conversations of the past months. Preliminarily, we need to rethink and reformulate how we create community. What worked for the first 20 years of my rabbinate was never even 75% effective, but it may be even less engaging and empowering today. It's time for new structures and experiences to connect people to new friends, sacred community and God.
Last Saturday at the Bleich Bar Mitzvah a member of the family was an old friend who I hadn't seen in many, many years, Ray Panitz. It brought back so many wonderful memories of Camp Ramah. Also listening to his career path changes - it gives me hope that when I'm ready to retire (I don't know when) there could be a life after.
Sunday 4/11 I went to Debbie Togut's funeral. For the past decade she has been the 2nd Hazzan at Bnai Israel in Rockville. I've know her for over 30 years: She was a camper of mine (I was unit head) in Camp Ramah in New England in 1977 or 78. She was this tall, beautiful, sweet, intelligent, sweet voiced, incredible davener and torah reader. There was a joy that flowed from her in everything she did. She was wonderful, also, active in planning activities (pe'ulat erev in particular) for her fellow campers. It was devastating to think that at 46 with two young children she's gone. The only comfort I had at the grave was listening to a flock of birds near the cemetery singing in a high chirp, something not far from her voice. I thought she would have liked their singing... or maybe she was even singing with them.
Monday we had long, but good Executive Committee. I am especially happy about as we reflected on the experience people are having filling in letters in our new Torah. [It's even more important than the $100,000+ we raised in pledges] Menachem Youlus, for all the bad press he's been receiving, is really creating sacred moments for our families. People are really connecting to the spiritual nature of our holy text. It's been sublime.
Tuesday I went to a mid-day meeting through AIM with the CEO of Adventist Health Care, Bill Robertson. He's honestly one of the few people I've met in the county who is a leader. He's intelligent, well read, thoughtful, understands politics, and still is spiritual. He has a vision for his institution and the county that I rarely hear anywhere else. It nice to go to a meeting and come out energized. I hope we'll be able to work with him in the short term of immigration issues, but in the long term on housing, transportation, and education.
Wednesday the 14th I had mikvah duty. Once a year, I sit on the Beit Din in the rotation of the Conservative rabbis in the area for conversions. We receive essays from the adult candidates about their spiritual journey and spend half an hour with each getting to know them a little more and then joining them to our people through immersion in the ritual bath. It's always special. We officiated for 4 adults and two children. The stories of the journey to find a connection to God and community - were beautiful and powerful. It's sad that most adult born-Jews don't have the spiritual growth experience of our adult Jews by choice. I'm once again inspired ... hearing their stories and their commitment to our faith.
Thursday - as I prepared for Bible Study in Numbers 18, I was wondering why don't we tithe anymore? And as I reviewed this section about offerings to the priests it was finally clear why. The tithe given to the Levites and priests was for their service to the Temple. Especially crucial in the aftermath of the Korach story was their responsibility to prevent encroachment with the holy - which would lead to death. Since the Temple is not standing - there is no risk of encroachment. Since the levites are not performing the protective duties - they are not paid. No one else can receive their special portions. We do give charity (and can give as much as 20%)- but not tithe without the Temple to the priestly clans.
Today - I am finishing my drash to the Bar Mitzvah this Shabbat. The Chancellor had a wonderful piece in the JTS weekly that part of the core idea. The laws of skin diseases and infestations of clothing and houses - reflect the need not only for cure, but for spiritual healing. The ancient discussion of these issues is much less concerned about cure. But, we today don't always pay enough attention to the spiritual side of illness and property damage. I appreciate now: the way the priest visits someone everyone week when their sick or their home infested and connects a family to community and God through their presence and concern. Maybe we should have more rituals for healing and after a home is restored; to nurture our quest for physical and spiritual health and realize the degree to which the emotional and the physical are interconnected.
Shabbat Shalom
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