Awesome Love of the High Holidays (Bulletin article)

The keynote prayer of the Musaf Amidah on the High Holidays is Unataneh Tokef. Written according to tradition by Rabbi Amnon of Mayence on his deathbed, it depicts us standing in the heavenly court – awaiting judgment: who will live and who will die!? Over the years I/we have grappled with the fatalistic nature of the prayer. Is our physical fate really sealed by the past and our repentance process during the Days of Awe?
In the past I understood the prayer as a metaphor for consequential living. The past does impact the present and the future. The quality and the quantity of our lives are certainly determined by the choices we make: taking care of our selves, how we treat others, and our quest for intellectual and spiritual sustenance.
After 9/11 we spoke about how this prayer articulates for us all the things that are not in our control. What happens to us through nature and the actions of others (and maybe God) is not determined by us. We have the ability to accept, cope and heal from the pain and suffering which is found in our world – but we have little power over what actually happens to us. Only, our spiritual responses to life: repentance, prayer, righteousness - are in our control.
As I study this year for the holidays, I want to expand the metaphor of God sitting in judgment over us. I still find this theme powerful as a tool to personal transformation. Yet the idea of heavenly tribunal should not only be viewed in terms of “punishment.” A tribunal is also, often for moments of meaningful joy, such as a conversion.
This is an equally powerful image to one of justice and punishment. Conversion is a transformational moment. Filled with awe and love a person becomes a Jew-by-choice. This is true today in our time and place for all Jews – living Jewishly is a personal choice. The rituals of conversion are a moment filled with love for Jewish life and hope for a future filled with God’s presence. The Beit Din (Rabbinic Court) for a conversion is rite of welcome to community. Having completed the process of study and rituals of Jewish citizenship – the convert celebrates their new status and affirms their identity. The tears of someone who is named with his/her Jewish name as part of the ritual – are tears filled with joy and God’s love. Maybe that’s the feeling we should experience in synagogue during this High Holiday season. We stand as Jews by choice in front of God who welcomes us in love to share the joys of Jewish spirituality. I pray we will feel that Presence during the holy days and in the coming year.

Rabbi/Dr. Joseph Lukinsky

Last week one of the unique souls it has been my pleasure to know in life passed away. Joe Lukinsky was a mentor, a teacher, an inspiration. I first met him while in high school where he served as an advisor in Camp Ramah. Later, he was one of my advisers while working on my M.A. in Jewish Education. Through my college years, grad school, and rabbinic studies, Joe was a Professor of Education at the Jewish Theological Seminary. He was one of the most compassionate and brilliant people I ever have known.
A wonderful aside. My great tangential memory of him was baseball. Joe Lukinsky (I was told actually) had a try-out with the Chicago Cubs. And apparently could have played minor league ball. I'm glad he became a rabbi and educator. But I always remember that once or twice a summer he would play in Camp Ramah in the Shabbat afternoon pick up game. All the outfielders would start to back up. And at least once a summer Joe would crush one - over the dining room or over the Bet Am (Main Rec Hall) - kind of like a Mickey Mantle or home run derby shot - unbelievable. He would just flick his wrists and it was gone. And he was always so modest, when everyone else was totally 'wow'ed.
But I really cherish my memories of his warmth, his compassion and his mentschlikeit. He had this wonderful way of offering constructive criticism. [He was so brilliant that when he taught he could share 3 brilliant ideas at the same time confusing us often.] Yet, when evaluating your programs in camp or lessons in a class - he would bubble with different ways of teaching the same material - and then help you figure out which way would work best for you. He'd look at you with that wonderful warm smile and you knew he wanted you to do your best for yourself, for those you taught, and in service of God. You were never intimidated by his intellectual gifts. His modesty and kindness and willingness to share those talents, inspired you to be like him - a teacher in Israel.
Zichron Zaddik L'vracha - the memory of this righteous soul will always be a source of blessing.

Death and Life and Love

It has been, as often the case, an interesting series of days.

This weekend we had one of the most joyous aufrufs and weddings that it has been my honor and pleasure to officiate. Without naming names, our President's oldest son was married to a lovely young woman who studied with me for many months to become a Jew-by-choice. The aufruf was fantastic on Shabbat morning. Lots of participation and the joy of the moment was visible to all. When it came time for the special blessing for the bride and groom preceding the impending wedding - everyone surrounded our center bimah, waited for the completion of the benediction and the wished them sweetness in life by gently pelting them with candy. So much love and so much joy.
The wedding itself was equally wondrous. I don't often officiate at a traditional tish (groom's table) and bedekin (veiling of the bride), but that was the plan at Adas Israel in DC. One hall was reserved for the tish - where there was plenty of drinking, a traditional dvar torah (sermonette) with interruptions, some pretty good singing; a really loving celebration of the groom to relax him before the ceremony (and signing the ketubah - the marriage contract). In one of the chapels the bride awaited the groom's party - we danced in, regaled the bride a little, and then veiled her in front of all the guests.
The huppah (service under the 'bridal canopy') was filled with beauty and meaning: beautiful singing from Hazzan Komard and Cantor Judson, lighting a yahrzeit candle for loved ones present in spirit, but most of all just two amazing young people so in love, so filled with joy, sharing the moment with everyone. Then there was a fun reception - great time, great music, good food - being able to part of two extended families knowing what's really important - being in a sacred weekend of love, family and community.
Yesterday, I received a call mid-day from a member that her mother was dying any minute. So I raced over to the Nursing Home. We talked for a moment or two, I spoke with the 82 year old woman who was in extremis. It was clear from her breathing that the end was very close. After a few Psalms we recited Vidui - Final Confession. It's a powerful prayer that prays for a miracle - but if not that death will be forgiveness. Then a prayer for the family of the person and ends with Shema Yisrael and a few other lines affirming our faith. I've said Vidui many times and been at a death bed several times - but I've never recited it before and then in only ten more minutes watched a loving, stubborn and strong soul take her last breath. I then stayed another hour to help make plans for the funeral out-of-town. Having known the woman who passed away for a decade - it's always sad and strange to watch a life come to an end. And yet, as a remembered her joy at her granddaughter's birth and naming, the bnai mitzvah of her two grandsons, her coming to Active Retirees meetings in healthy days - I know she enjoyed a good, long life - not without it's pain and sadness - but met with incredible determination and great devotion. Her memory is a source of blessing.
I feel very alive this week in the face of love and death. I have felt the Presence of God in the holiness of a series of moments - of seeing souls alive with love, bidding farewell with a contemporary to the wellspring of her life, and a being truly present for the final neshama - the final breath of life. Just being wide open to these moments enables me to feel a connection to something more than myself.