Kol Nidray Sermon 2011

KOL NIDRAY 5772 (Thanks to Jack Reimer and Mark Greenspan)

Let me tell you the story of a person from whom I learned a lesson this year. Her name is Talya Glazer, and she is a member of the pre-school class of the Jewish Community Center of Harrison, New York.

Harrison is an upper middle class community that is located in Westchester County, not far from White Plains and Scarsdale. Talya is a rabbi’s daughter, and she taught me a very important lesson.

Rabbi Glazer and his wife have a custom that many other parents have as well. Whenever they go for a walk with their daughter, and they pass a fountain, they give Talya a penny, and they tell her to throw the coin into the fountain and make a wish. They did that one day this year, they passed a fountain, and so they gave Talya a penny and they told her to throw it into the fountain and make a wish, say a prayer.

She thought, and she thought, and she prayed, but did not throw the coin into the fountain. A minute went by, two minutes went by, three minutes went by and still she did not throw the penny into the fountain. They could see that she was thinking very hard. And then finally, finally, finally, she threw the coin into the fountain.

Her parents asked Talya: What took you so long? And what did you finally wish for? What did you pray for? And she told them: She said: I was concentrating so long and thinking so hard, because I really, really, really wanted my wish to come true. They asked her: so what was your wish? And she said: I wished that I could see my friend, Eddie.

Eddie was Talya’s best friend. They went to the same Pre-School together in Harrison. But Eddie & his parents recently moved from Harrison to Philadelphia, & Talya missed Eddie very much. And so she held on to that penny for a long time, and then she threw it into the fountain. And the wish was that she could see Eddie again sometime soon.

Now I ask you: What do you do when your child makes a wish like that? Her parents looked at each other, and they both had the same thought at the same time. And so, when they got home, they called Eddie’s parents in Philadelphia, and invited them to come back to Harrison for Tot Shabbat. And they invited them to stay at their home, so that Talya and Eddie could have the play date that they both wanted to have so much.

When I heard that story, I learned from Talya the power of friendship. In contrast, you probably know the story of Mark Zuckerberg who founded Facebook of how he is now one of the richest men in the world, but has lost almost all the friends he had before his amazing business success. But in some ways Talya is richer than he, because he may have invented Facebook and the social network, but he himself had no friends, whereas Talya had only a penny, but she was fortunate enough to have a real friend. And therefore, I think that in some ways she is richer.

At its best that is what Kehilat Shalom has meant. We made friends who supported us in hard times and celebrated with us at simchas. When we needed a friend we had a circle of friends who had been through the ups and downs of life with us. Many of us still have those kinds of connections and for those who do not yet enjoy that core experience I’ll have some suggestions in a few moments.

There is another kind of friendship that is about conversation. We all have friends we trust to listen and shmooze and advice us. We have circles of people we enjoy learning with and from. We have havurot after services or on pick up from schools with whom we share our thoughts and feelings. We are not alone in our common quest for not just social connection, but open and honest conversation.

But there is another level of friendship conversation, which has been damaged, in the past year. One of the things that joins us a human beings in sacred quest for Jewish meaning is a shared vision of the future for our community. It’s friends who share an outlook on life.

That’s what so much of today’s liturgy reflects. From the rituals, to the words of the confession and prayers of forgiveness, it’s not about me, it’s always “WE”. Yom Kippur is a day of AT-ONE-MENT. It is not simply a matter of saying 'I'm sorry' and resolving not to sin anymore. It's a day on which we're challenged to reconnect with God, with family, and with one another. It is a day when we become a community, united by our weaknesses and strengths. In prayer and confession, we become each other's advocates. It is not our own sins for which we seek forgiveness but the sins and failings of those sitting around us. The most common word in the Yom Kippur liturgy is "WE."

But we've lost how to be a community. There was a time, not so long ago, when the emphasis in Jewish life was on peoplehood. Our parents and grandparents may have had doubts about faith and observance but they knew who they were and to what people belong. They didn’t just build houses of worship - they built "community centers" like the "Kehilat Shalom." Then, there was a sense that Jews around the world shared a common destiny, or at least a common enemy. In 80s, a quarter million Jews descended on Washington, DC and half a million in NY for a mass rallies calling on the Soviet Union to allow unrestricted emigration of Jews. I don’t think we could do that today.

The High Holy Days may be the last bastion of communal solidarity. We come here to be with one another on a day of AT-ONE-MENT. There's something powerful that happens when we come together in prayer and celebration during the Yamim Noraim. We see old friends. We reconnect with something larger than ourselves. We feel a sense of warmth and community as we raise our voices in song and prayer together. We speak of shared values and visions.

But community can't exist once or twice a year, or only when it's convenient. You have to sign on and be a constant part of the community for the community to be part of you. Either you're an active member of the community or not, either you're part of the Jewish people or not. There must be give and take.

How do we re-create that shared dream of a thriving, loving community? I spoke on RH of the governance tasks needed to continue to be a caring community. But we also need to meet each other by living Jewishly to reconnect ourselves to our roots and our spirituality and to each other.

CE21 has worked for three years and we’re ready to implement WITH YOUR HELP AND SUPPORT some fun, exciting and holy experiences for all ages

Show cards – didn’t pick up on your way in … fold down on your way out

Sukkah Raising – need help putting up your sukkah… we’ve got a team to help

Shabbat Guests – want to make a friend … break bread together
If you can stomach eating and talking with someone … bond
Invite people to your home to share Shabbat meal… teach how to enjoy at least one meal a week when we slow down, don’t rush, and eat and talk about life

Personalizing our Directory with Pictures – enhance with pictures

Shabbaton/Retreat –
Immersion experience: camp, USY, - live Jewishly – create lasting positive connection
Spend a day living, eating, learning, praying, schmoozing, playing…

Le Dor Vador Shabbat –
For a number of years we’ve celebrated a Grandparents Shabbat
But we have lots of grandparents whose grandchildren are not around or who don’t have grandchildren. Kind of intergenerational programming that is what community is about

Expanded Round the Table
Last year through the RS families did Jewish learning together with text and activities coordinated by the School – opportunity to do and to learn together
Not only for RS students and families- but for all ages and backgrounds to experience and learn together

Bracha University – On Jan 22 with BSO we’re going back to enjoy our old University Model of Learning. Dozen of workshops by age and by family – cognitive, experiential, food, doing… learning about blessings to use our daily lives

Ushers/Greeters: for many years we’ve had a friendly face say hello and help you when you come to Friday Night and Saturday Morning Services. We need more people to help with putting a welcoming face on coming to our community and to empower those who volunteer to know and feel comfortable with what they’re doing

CE21 Taskforce Members Stand. Stop for a minute … fold down … ask a question….

Volunteer Pledge Cards explanation…
So this is my wish for our synagogue: In this coming year may whoever comes in here, wherever they may come from, and for whatever reason they may come here, may they enter as strangers and may they leave as friends. For if we can achieve that, if we can create the kind of synagogue where the stranger is welcomed when he arrives, but where the stranger leaves as a friend, then I believe that this synagogue will grow and prosper, that it will have no financial problems and that it will be in truth a Jewish CENTER, a place where people will come on their spiritual quest, and to meet each other, and it will be a place where God’s Presence will delight to dwell.

And my second wish is for each one of you is this: May you acquire a friend in the only way that anyone ever acquires a friend, which is by being a friend. Because, if you do, I promise you: your joys will be twice as sweet, and your troubles will be half as heavy. I ask you to acquire a friend—by being a friend, because if you do, your life will have meaning, and your days will be blessed. This is my wish for you today.

And if you don’t believe me, then listen to the words of my friend, Talya, who taught me by the way she thought and thought and thought before she threw her penny into the fountain, that friendship counts for so much in life.

I wish you a good year, a year of friendship between you and me, and between each other, and between us and our Parent who is in heaven.

I wish you a good year, a year in which there will come true for us the words that we say on the eve of every new month, but don't need to say on Rosh Hodesh Tishrai because it is already understood:

Haverim kol yisrael. - May all of Israel be friends. And to this, let us all say: Amen.