Thursday, January 20, 2011

Last Shabbat's Drash (summary)

With all the insertions for Shabbat Shirah last weekend, I didn't have time to give the dvar torah. What I had prepared was adapted from Rabbi Jack Reimer. He was reflecting on the Deborah Story in the Haftarah. Deborah's husband Lapidot (mentioned at the beginning of the selection) was amazing in his time (and maybe in our day too).
Although the text doesn't say one way or the other, for homiletic purposes: Lapidot apparently allowed (and maybe encouraged) Deborah to be a judge, a prophet and military leader. She even composes a song of celebration for the victory of the Canaanites. I'd like to think he reveled in his wife's achievements.
The second story which completes the first is Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsbergs's husband, Marvin (z"l). He was one of the top experts in tax law in our country teaching for many years at Columbia University. When Ruth was nominated, he lobbied his acquaintances in Congress and when she was approved, he resigned from Columbia, moved to DC and basked in her achievement.
Second part of this story: when they got married, Marvin discovered that Ruth was a lousy cook. He loved working in the kitchen. Since he could do it better than she could, he took of kitchen duty and cooked meals for the more than 50 years they were married.
When Marvin Ginsburg was asked how he felt about his wife's achievements and his kitchen duties, he said: "It's not a matter of feminism or not feminism, It's a matter pragmatism. Whoever can do the job better and whoever has the time to do it is the one who should do whatever has to be done. It is that simple."
That's a wonderful thought about relationships. It's not about money, or ego, or power; it's about sharing the responsibilities of life and finding the strength and time to meet the needs of the home where the relationship is nurtured.

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